What is my mood?
Really shitty. I have cried a lot today. After I had a very fruitful meeting with my coordinator about how bad the situation is at work, he promised that everything will be restored back as it was. He really lefted my spirit up when he said that he should stand up and take a bow for me. He called me the pride of his country and a vivid example of a hard working Saudi female.
Why my happiness didn’t last?
Everything he promised me of, vanished in one night!! I was really devastated for I thought he is the shoulder to lean on. What I am talking about is the dirty sicko female who was hired to supevise all of the employees at the females department. To give you a brief idea on her, it will take me million pages to write about.
I have worked, known, heard about this person for two years now because our work dealt with her institute to provide us with teachers. We were shocked to see lousy, lazy, old, and uneducated teachers. My colleague and I know her very well. My 1st boss suffered a great deal from her for she used to call him million times a day. He told us once that her hubby came to him begging him to answer his wife’s calls because she is mentally ill and is refusing to take her pills!!
It’s only her sickness but she has been working in a very dirty way whether morally or educationally. Just put yourself in my shoe and try to picture with me. If you were me, recieved million complains about her and had to report them and now all of a sudden she is your boss, what the hell is your relationship going to be!!
You guessed right, enemies!!
This is exactly what is happening. She has tried everything to ruin our reputation but failed. The latest thing she did was changing N and I classes timing without our approval. She said the reason is the small size of the class. However, the real reason since she is sicko is because she wanted the class to be her office!!
She has changed the timing of 13 classes just because she hates us for being praised and well known among everybody!! Remember, my coordinator promised that all the classes timing will be as it is, no changes at all. I felt a glimpse of happiness then.
I was shocked to read an e-mail from him today telling me that I have to follow the new timings. He wasn’t the same guy I met and felt comfortable with at the meeting!! He asked me to abide by the changes ignoring the fact that I am a human being and my yes or no is a priority. What the fuck is wrong with people these days!! They didn’t consider my refusal neither the students’!!
He asked me to cooperate forgetting his words in the meeting that I am the most cooperative person he has ever met!! Can you imagine how humilated I felt by that word specifically!! I was really stunned!!
The changes moved all my classes to Wed and Thurs. She did that in purpose because she knows I don’t work in Thursdays. Because I respect him, I agreed but suggested that instead of giving my Thursday classes to another teacher, I would take them in Wed as well. That should be welcomed and considered as a nice gesture as my parents have taught me, right!! However, his reply was like a stab in my back. He asked me to follow the arrangements that were made and then closed his email saying “Case closed, please”!!
Is this what we call cooperation Dr?? Is this the way the pride of your country gets treated!! Are you the same person I met!? Which kind of brain wash did she do in you!!?
There isn’t anything in this world called either this way or not!!? I am sorry, I am not a kid. I do understand this world and the work environment even better than 20-30 years experienced employees!! I replied in an angry way instead of my always-nice-talk telling him that I shouldn’t get the blame on because I am caught in the middle of disorganzation!! I also told him that there is no way that I ignore my family gathering in Thursday for the sake of work even if I cherish it to death. I asked him to let that sick find a substitute for me regarding the Thursday classes as she suggested and let him just be ready for my girls’ reaction!! I ended it saying, don’t worry about next semester, only God knows what’s going to happen!!
At the beginning of these problems, I have decided to continue this semester and then resign. Now, I am just ticked to explode at any moment and I might say goodbye very soon even it meant me being jobless!!
I really can’t bear such filthy environment. I hate it when I go to home upset and weary which makes everybody sick worried about me. I don’t care about payment or a well known place. I just seek organization and a healthy atmosphere!!
This is for today. I don’t know what is happening tomorrow. I am not positive anymore. I stopped believing the saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No, the tunnel’s end has collapsed!! There won’t be light at all. I am never pessimistic but I can’t lie and say things will be better niether you do because you can’t feel what I am passing through!!
P.S. Please, pray for me. I really need every single prayer!!