Married women, SHAME ON YOU!!

September 19, 2008 at 12:03 am (Uncategorized)

 

 

Yes I am ANGRY and sorry my sister but I can’t let it go!!

I am really pissed off!!

I really can’t think of an answer but you might have!!

Why do married women “not all” BUT MOST breastfeed their babies in shopping malls and public places??!!

Isn’t there anything called bottled milk?!!

OK, if you’re so against it, so caring mashalla to guarantee your baby a good health, why don’t you cover your BOOBS while breastfeeding!! Why don’t go to a female place or even the mosque to nurish your baby!!

It really disgusts me and make me feel like puking!!

I ran by this lady today when I as shopping. She was an over-weight lady breastfeeding her 3 months old baby in front of 100 people if not more!!

The problem was that her boobs were shown and yes the nipples for sure!! Two guys were looking at her in hunger!! You know what I mean!! I really felt like going to her and telling her to do it somewhere else!! However, I was stopped by my sister who said that it is useless in such cases!!

To you my bloggers, what disgusts you most?

 

 

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25 Comments

  1. big pearls said,

    I highly encourage breastfeeding and avoiding the bottle..if the mother had to breastfeed outside her home then she should definitely go to a women’s area or at least use a pashmina or something to cover herself.

  2. American Bedu said,

    I’m very surprised to hear that this happened so openly. Was the woman a foreigner, ie, non-Saudi, non-Arab? I have no objection to mothers who choose to breastfeed their children if they are able but wonder if this woman did not know much about Saudi culture and traditions? I think perhaps if it happens again is to in fact inform the woman that perhaps it would be better for the woman to cover the exposed breast and proceed to a women’s area and let her know that she is attracting the wrong kind of attention and surely she would not want to be followed around the mall or something like that…

  3. hissweetheart said,

    big pearls
    I second you in all what you said.

  4. hissweetheart said,

    American Bedu
    I know I will shock you but she was an Arab. Moreover, Saudi!!
    I have never seen a foriegner doing that, can you believe it!! All were Saudis
    You know, I have never ever imagined myself breastfeeding my yeat baby to come with my breast covered with a shwal or whatever it is even in front of my family members!!
    I will have so many places to do that intimace approach between me and my baby instead of just SHARING it with everybody.
    I don’t know why married women feel no shame doing it!!
    As for telling her not to do it in public, my sister had this experience once when she came across a similar situation in front of a hospital gate. She went to the breastfeeding lady and told her that her breast is shown and that is forbidden in Islam especially that the lady was covered in black from head to toe.
    The lady got pissed off for no reason and told her that she can do whatever she wants and no one should poke her/his nose into her business!!

  5. eshda3wa said,

    WTH
    hatha wain ele women are so ok with taking their boobs out!
    3aib ya3ni!

  6. hissweetheart said,

    It’s not only 3aib eshda3wa!!
    It’s like beng nude in public!!

  7. Scribbler said,

    haha hissweetheart,

    relax sis… haha you really do seem FURIOUS haha… it’s so funny… but yeah that definitely is weird to see in saudi in a public place… strange.

  8. hissweetheart said,

    Nah, it’s not strange for my eyes at all!!
    I started to think that it’s only me who considers it immoral!!

    I think I should start getting used to such scenes!!

  9. American Bedu said,

    well, yes, I am indeed surprised to hear that this was a Saudi woman!

    As a mom, I can “‘kind of” understand that if a child is really really cranky due to needing to be fed by a breastfeeding mom, I can imagine the mother deciding to breastfeed while in public…but then again, like it has been pointed out, public breastfeeding can be done in a tasteful and tactful manner which should not offend anyone.

  10. Dana said,

    Never seen something like that in Public..
    I can imagine how you felt !!

  11. hissweetheart said,

    True American Bedu
    It should have some restrictions especially in public places!!

  12. hissweetheart said,

    It was and still a nightmare for me Dana!!

  13. A Global Citizen said,

    Breastfeeding in public is certainly inappropriate. But at the same time, I truly sympathize with mothers who are left with no option but to yield to their babies’ urging cry to be fed. However, ofcourse it should be done properly and with respect to people’s feelings.

    I think there should be specific areas in public places for breasfeeding. Don’t you think?

  14. jewaira said,

    Breastfeeding in public can certainly be done discreetly and with a minimum show of skin, if at all. However if the mother is not wearing the proper top, bra, or does not have a shawl or similar to cover up with, it might present a problem. (And don’t women wear abayas in Saudi when they go out?)

    In any case, all good shopping centers should have parent and baby rooms now where parents can see to their baby’s needs.

    But if the baby is crying and very hungry, and there are no alternatives, I see no shame in a woman breastfeeding in public. People should be more comfortable with their bodies and breastfeeding is not a crime. It is a pity everyone’s minds are so full of the wrong kind of ideas.

  15. hissweetheart said,

    Jewairs

    We have some kind of opend abayas you can say. I agree with the idea of parenting rooms, it’s really nice. As for the sick minds, they are everywhere and I guess we will never run out of them. But even if some people are sick minded, still it’s disgusting for others like me!!

  16. coolred38 said,

    Did it not occur to u to ask the men to lower their gaze…not to mention your own. Even if the mother was displaying hereself for whatever reasons…but especially to feed her baby…the appropriate action is to look away whether your disgusted or not.

    Men have no problems scratching themselves or just generally handling themselves in public and yet get disgusted when women feed their babies…go figure…as usual…womens bodies are meant to be seen as disgusting …even while doing what nature intended…nursing their children.

  17. hissweetheart said,

    Sweetie
    I don’t poke my nose into others business. We are blessed with minds thanks God. Maybe in your society you freely talk with the males gender but it’s never the same with us!!
    And I wasn’t gazing!! I witnessed what she was doing because she was in my path!!

    Being a mom doesn’t permit moms to show their boobs infront of people even if they were females only!! If the baby is hungry, there are many alternatives instead of being a chewing gum in people’s mouths!!

  18. uk2ksa said,

    “It really disgusts me and make me feel like puking!!”

    As Coolred (who lives in conservative society in Bahrain) says, breastfeeding is what nature – or rather Allah swt – intended. Breastfeeding is natural and should be the sole source of nourishment for infants under 6 months of age; it certainly should NOT be a source of disgust. Yes, I agree that the lady you saw in the supermarket should have more hayaa’ and cover her body but the level of disdain I am reading in your blog post is appalling. Breastfeeding mothers have it hard enough as it is with low levels of support from medical professionals and family when starting breastfeeding and then after the first few weeks when a good routine is established people start pressurising the mother to give bottles of that powdered cr*% to the baby.

    If you can do it (and MOST people should be able to as there are very few reasons preventing it) then breast IS best. Breastmilk is specially formulated by Allah swt with the baby in mind. Cow milk for calves, sheep milk for lambs, human milk for human babies – Allah swt made the balance of vitamins, fats and nutrition in the milk perfect for the infant for which it was intended.

    Women’s breasts and even the act of breastfeeding have become over-sexualised in Western society and the needs of the baby pushed to the side.

    If I am in public and my baby needs to breastfeed I will not hesitate. If I am in mixed company I will hide my baby under my khimar and people will not even know I am breastfeeding; if I am in the company of only females what does it matter if a small part of my breast is visible?? I am not going to wave it in people’s face but similarly I should be able to relax with females a little and not start shrouding myself in shaylas.

    I hope your present feelings will not cloud your judgment and prevent you from giving the gift of breastfeeding to any future child you have. Breastfeeding nourishes the child in the most perfect way possible, fosters a wonderful bond between mother and baby and is the child’s RIGHT given to them from Allah swt. In the hadith of Muhammad sAaws on the night of the Isra w’al mi’raj Muhammad sAaws related that he saw people in jahannam being punished in various ways and he inquired about what these people had done to deserve those punishments. He saw some women being punished and the reason why, was that they denied their babies their breastmilk. Furthermore in Al-Qur’an Al Karim we are told that the period of breastfeeding is 2 years.

    Sorry this is long but this kind of attitude irks me a great deal and I hope you can get over it and feel a little more warmth to women trying their best for their child. Perhaps the woman would have appreciated if you had told her her awra was on display and helped her.

  19. hissweetheart said,

    UK2KSA
    My darling you have totally missunderstood me!!
    I 100% supports breastfeeding babies. I have 3 married sisters with many kids mashalla. I can’t stop lecturing them on the importance of nurishing their babies with their own milk instead of the bottled milk. I even had one them saves her milk in a bottle for her baby when she is at work!!

    Again, what I am against is mothers not covering their breasts while feeding their babies infront of a mixed gathering. Yes, I hate it when women breastfeed their babies infront of other women as well. If it’s Ok with you, it doesn’t mean it’s Ok with the rest of females at the place you are at and vice versa!! What disgusts me is the mom doing it while being exposed to MALES!! Don’t tell me maybe she didnt feel it because I can’t buy that!!

    I hope I made it clear for you!!

  20. ummadam said,

    Ditto uk2ksa!!!!!

  21. hissweetheart said,

    Ditto what I keep on repeating!!!

  22. ummadam said,

    Rofl! Hey when I first read your post I was thinking you were writing about me! However, showing the boobs to men is a bit much. I do try to be discreet when around other women, but you just wait and see..sometimes it’s just not possible. Not all babies want to be covered and will fling away what you are trying to cover them with and then every now and then (especially with a new born) you may have to expose yourself to make sure the child is properly attached.

    I can’t wait until you have a baby. Seeing that you are Saudi (or maybe cuz I’m not Saudi it’s been my experenice), I can assure you that a relative or some random stranger will see you trying to discreetly breastfeed and tell you, “haram alayk” and uncover you. Then they will proceed to give you directions on everything you never asked. If you politely just nod your head but not do as they say, they will then grab your breast themself to physically demostrate how they think you should be feeding your baby. Happens all the time so you can forget about those intimate moments you mentioned earlier 🙂

  23. hissweetheart said,

    Ummadam,
    You’re right. I totally forgot about the babies who don’t want to be covered. I have seen my nephew struggling with his mom about it when it comes to breastfeeding him.

  24. Fatimah said,

    As uk2ksa said, breastfeeding is what Allah intended, but he didn’t even make it mandatury! The mother has the choice whether or not to nurse her baby, if she doesn’t, the father has to find someone or some way to nurse the baby. This is Allah’s shar3..
    I am very outgoing and some say, really bold.. My family hasn’t seen me blushing until I got engaged lol.. But even I can’t see myself breastfeeding in front of my friends,, even under a cover lol!! I might cover myself and breastfeed in front of my sisters and mom, of course my husband, but not in front of anyone else!! Strangers on the street!!

    And yeah, guys scratching in public is very disgusting too, I have a whole long post devoted for that reason lol..

  25. Deepthi said,

    uk2ksa said:

    “Women’s breasts and even the act of breastfeeding have become over-sexualised in Western society and the needs of the baby pushed to the side.”

    Are you kidding me ? Please check your facts. People are trying to make breastfeeding in public legal here and it is now legal in many states in the US and everywhere in Canada. From all of your reactions, it is obvious that the mere sight of a breast – a human body part and nothing else – is being oversexualized by you, not the West.

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